All my life I have anticipated conflict, which in reality never materialised. I rehearse possible arguments or fantasise about conversations where I can impress. My ego, like the serpent in the garden of Eden, wants me to be special.......more
The narrative in my mind distracts me. I often find myself not listening deeply to another person, but simply waiting to reply. The chatter in my mind is of past and future, creating an imagined present. ......more
Self consciousness alienates me. I spend too much time creating a self image for people to see. I am beginning to understand that this image I create, is only seen by me. ......more
When I witness my thoughts, I sense being an awareness that is beyond my thoughts. In this place, the unbelievable becomes believable and the thinking becomes experiencing. ......more
I've begun to realise that what I see is filtered through my own experiences, culture, education and awareness. My thoughts are real to me, but not reality. Even when I look in the mirror, I don't recognise the person in my thoughts. ......more
When an owl hovered above me, time and thoughts stood still. In that magical moment, I realised my existence is dependent and connected to everything that has ever happened and is. ......more
I visited Chichester Cathedral and sat quietly in front of a tomb. My stillness enjoyed the lack of thoughts, the absense of time and I felt an awareness of how all things are connected when we become present in the moment. ......more
I grasp for happiness and peace. I try and stop thinking and all the time waiting for some spiritual epiphany. Nothing. Then an owl hovers above by chance and in that moment, I see that what I have already is enough. It's all here, I just need to stop trying. ......more
I often witness my thoughts agonising over a problem which has no significance to my life. I believe this is my ego, finding imagined conflict where I can be either superior or miserable, either way I am satisfyingly different or special. ......more
The process of watching my thoughts I find a liberating and comforting experience. I become a timeless, formless and infinite awareness which although I don't understand it, is a pleasant place to be. ......more
I love entering churches or cathedrals and feeling that sensation of timelessness. The feeling that this is a gateway to a truth, along with a sense of oneness and connection with all things. The stillness of the tomb connects us all. ......more
In my life I am aware of patterns of behaviour that pass from generation to generation. These patterns can be destructive but I believe awareness and acceptance is the means to effect positive change. ......more
I don't think the Buddha ever said there was no 'self'. However, in Buddhism and many religions there is the concept of oneness and universal consciousness. Finding stillness and letting thoughts go takes me to this place. ......more
When I read about a new quantum physics or scientific discovery my questioning mind defaults to scepticism. The burden of all these negative thoughts, blinds me to the possibilities created by an open mind. I think, with the acceptance of uncertainty, wisdom increases. ......more
As I get older, thoughts of my mortality rise. My life decisions can become coloured by how much time I may have and are made through fear. But if I can fully accept my impermanence, I become more present, less anxious and see the joy of being alive in this moment. ......more
My thoughts seem to be predominantly about form, time and material life. But I am beginning to enjoy an ever present sanctuary of just awareness, found in the space between words, sounds or actions. A formless and peaceful place. ......more
I see the Tree of Knowledge story from the bible as a parable about how our obsession with 'self' has become unbalanced with being 'selfless'. It reminds me of the cycle of reincarnation in Samsara, including one's actions and their consequences in past, present, and future. Both find liberation by looking within. ......more
I was in Durham cathedral looking at the rose window. The shapes made me think of people rotating around a centre, like a clock. This reminded me of Samsara and I liked the idea that the centre was still, like the hub of a rotating wheel, and in stillness we find enlightenment. So when I saw an owl hovering above me one evening, it brought me a magical stillness, with no thoughts, and in that moment, a glimpse of enlightenment. ......more
Having been inspired by the teachings of Thich Nhat Hanh, I began to explore how we are connected to every action of our ancestors. We are those actions and they live on in us. ......more
The Ted Talk by Donald Hoffman sparked my interest in the idea that all form is created by a universal consciousness and that the world we perceive is a fraction of reality, filtered and translated through our thoughts so that we can function. ......more
In this painting I was thinking about the freedom of 'no self' as opposed to the self awareness given to us by the serpent in the Garden of Eden. The owl has come to represent this freedom for me, because when witnessed in nature, I find all thoughts stop and I am brought fully into the present moment. ......more
I think I enjoy my problems. They reinforce my sense of self, even if they cause me suffering. They make me feel special. Just a chance thought can trigger a long and pointless dialogue in my head, where I am centre stage. Only when I drop this notion of a 'self' do I find peace. ......more
I constantly try to find that space between thoughts. A place where I am not my thoughts. A place to visit and realise how wonderful being alive is.......more
A chance encounter with wildlife brings me instantly into the present moment. Thought is left behind, replaced by awareness. A magical moment that instantly lets go of the internal chatter in my mind. When drawing this I was remembering a moment sitting next to a tomb. The stillness of the tomb also calmed my thoughts and like with the owl, I felt pure awareness. ......more
In this painting I was thinking about the freedom of 'no self' as opposed to the self awareness given to us by the serpent in the Garden of Eden. The owl has come to represent this freedom for me, because when witnessed in nature, I find all thoughts stop and I am brought fully into the present moment. ......more
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