The illusion of the separate self
by Edinburgh artist Mike Heseltine.
"I am that I am" is the answer God gave to Moses when he asks for God's name in the Book of Exodus. There have been many explanations as to the meaning of this phrase and perhaps this illustrates how words are sometimes just pointers to a personal truth, rather than having a definitive meaning. For me, the words "I am" acknowledges a state of consciousness. The conscious state that is required for us to say "I am" is the same for you as it is for me. I believe this state of conscious presence is universal. God was saying he is that consciousness. When an owl hovered above me and Rosanna, there was a wonderful feeling of conscious presence, fuelled by us all being fully present in the moment. I remember being aware that I existed because the owl existed and Rosanna existed. We were interdependent and shared our consciousness. We became one consciousness. That awareness is lost in me when I feel I am a separate and independent self. This delusion denies the presence of a universal consciousness which I believe is expressed in the phrase "I am that I am".
I think for me, the knowledge that identifying as a separate self is an illusion is liberating. We create a concept of 'self' to help us survive and navigate the world on a day to day basis. This idea of 'self' is generated by our thoughts ..... but this is just a useful and essential illusion. If we look deeper, this 'self' is 100% dependent on everything that has ever happened and everything in the world at this precise moment. I think our lives today seem to be all about nurturing the 'self' rather than understanding that we are all connected and interdependent. This obsession or identification with our thoughts (the self) distracts us from what is and constantly makes us want more and more. Eckhart Tolle puts it perfectly....
“Identification with your mind creates an opaque screen of concepts, labels, images, words, judgments, and definitions that blocks all true relationship. It comes between you and yourself, between you and your fellow man and woman, between you and nature, between you and God. It is this screen of thought that creates the illusion of separateness, the illusion that there is you and a totally separate ‘other.’ You then forget the essential fact that, underneath the level of physical appearances and separate forms, you are one with all that is. By ‘forget,’ I mean that you can no longer feel this oneness as self-evident reality.”
So I think by realising that I am totally interdependent upon all things that are both present and have happened in the past, I seem to view the world in a more empathetic way. By accepting that my existence is dependent upon everything that is right now, I seem to stop fighting with the world and become calmer. In that calmness of acceptance, I can then choose to change my situation or let it be.
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